If you are wondering "how to talk to my teenager" then you have come to the right place and I think I can help you. I feel for you if you are having problems with your teenager because I too went through years of problems with my son and he was in his room constantly and just was not responsive. I found some timeless principles and applied them though and he thanks me to this day. Here are some of my top tips for people asking how to talk to my teenager.

Put yourself in their shoes - I know this sounds like a broken record but how often do you actually imagine looking through their young eyes and seeing the world. This is a huge secret to successful relationships. They have all that social pressure on them and it is a hard time when their bodies are going through a lot of change. Underneath they just want to know that they are loved unconditionally. Talk to them totally openly without judging and keep in your mind that to get what you want, you must give them what they want.

Let them feel independence - You have to let a teenager feel that they are independent. It is natural that they want independence at their age because they are growing into adults. Give them this by letting them do chores and saying "You can take anything up to £10 depending on how hard you think you have worked" or saying "you can decide what is for tea tonight". Do this and they will be open to talking to you.

They say one thing and mean another - When you are thinking how to talk to my teenager, your teen might start saying things that are harmful to you. Try to understand that they might say thing like "I hate you, do not talk to me" but you have to look what they mean underneath. Just openly listen to them without judging and this is the best way to talk to your teenager.